Lower Your Hands and Get Steppin'...

While basking in the glory of satellite HDTV enhanced television at my parents recently I caught an old bit about the local Fourth of July festivities, which as you know is the holiday that celebrates our country's struggle and subsequent victory against the British Empire for the right to brush our teeth with a cleansing agent and bristles instead of pieces of gravel on a stick. I'm only adding that bit of history because you wouldn't believe how many kids got it wrong that they were interviewing on the news. Freedom from the government and unfair taxation indeed. Like we would have those problems today if we had fought a bloody revolution to be rid of them. Stupid ass kids.

Anyway, I also caught the last tidbit of a cooking show featuring an interview with a street mime showcasing his favorite vegetarian dishes.
Like myself, not many people care for a street mime and especially a tofu eating one.

So, here's a special secret; you can still totally punch 'em through that "box" they always seemed to be trapped inside. Believe me, no matter what kind of crap ass day you've had, it'll all be better after that...and you're completely protected by the law.

Article IV Section 2.1 concerning oral matters of International Mime Law, in accordance with the Mime-Streetwalker Treaty of '32 and The Beat Mimes Senseless Acts of New York clearly states:
"Any Mime caught digesting real food, or beverages, or partaking in any noticeable oral pleasures such as candy, cigarettes or very large gulps of air shall be shot on the spot and refused burial."

Due to a clever mime loophole, too many of 'em were getting away with clear and flagrant violations, so this was later added in Section 2.3 during The Die Mimes Die U.N. conference:

"Any Mime subject for shooting shall be shot by an actual gun, not by another Mime simply pointing his finger and mouthing the word 'bang'"

I guess what I'm trying to say to everyone out there is start packing heat, cause we've all got a responsibility to keep these rouge mimes in line...and if you wing one that is actually just play smoking, well that's alright as well, cause who's going to represent a dead mime?