Around The Watercooler

So I was talking to Johnson from marketing next to the watercooler about the recent decrease in company output. He took this time to remind me that he is only a figment of my imagination with no real control concerning my overall productivity.
And then went on to add that three dixie cups and half a pitcher of Orange knockoff Kool-Aid does not a watercooler make.
Low blow Johnson, low blow. I sure hope I draw your name for secret santa next Christmas cause you're getting squat.
Or a box of bent paperclips if I end up being just slightly generous...and if nobody happens to be closely monitoring the supply closet.
I think he's just harboring ill feelings since I'm always swiping his parking space. And that I slept with his wife. Either or...
Well anyway, off to the onsite reading room to continue my risky romance with the office slut, Rosy Palm.